Have I told you lately that I do care?

Life has been too busy to notice...... Lost friends, lost contacts, and missing memories. It is true, I am trying to avoid the realities I will someday have to face. {yes Mom... I am also still avoiding the boxes} I have put more activities into my life and into my children's lives so that we are too busy to notice the rest. Better to stay busy. Better to keep the job/school/activities really crowded right now.

So, for right now, Forgive me if I don't talk enough, or don't call, or don't write, or don't share. I am blogging instead of talking because I don't have the emotional energy to call and tell everyone. I wore myself out on all the other stuff that happened today. Normally, I prefer not to have any energy to spend on the trials. Our trials are depressing. It is the major reason I don't blog what I do on a daily basis. It's all depressing.

No, I wouldn't trade. I had someone say "I wish I had your life." Crap. A whole load of it. We all have challenges in this world that God has given us for a reason.... and your challenges are not my challenges. And I would not want anyone else's challenges.
The Neurologist said just the other day that a "Normal" Person wouldn't be walking. So, I'm glad I'm not "Normal"..... What's normalcy anyway. I pay out the ying and the yang to make sure I am doing all my physical therapy so I don't have to be normal. Someday I won't have the ability to walk. How 'bout you?
A good friend said she would like her husband to do all the dishes and laundry and kids and work on the house..... I love that.  Her husband will remember that we need milk to go with the cookies he was sent to the store for. And that the kids have whatever going on in an hour..... Memory is a precious thing. Someday he won't know my name. How 'bout you?
As for the children..... I love them dearly. They are growing too fast. Patience is truly a virtue I was not born with. I am glad they do not stay teenagers forever. They don't know what they are missing.

Pithy stuff?

On the flip side, 

A perfectly healthy husband and father is in the hospital.... just had a massive coronary. No reason. Just up and fell over. Life flighted out. Thank God they have health insurance. 

A mother in our community just lost her six year old son due to complications after surgery to have tubes put in his ears. 

My tribulations are dragged out slowly. These families got blindsided. At least I know what's coming. I don't think I would be strong enough for that.

So - Who cares, right? I have heard through the grapevine that there are complaints that "I" don't keep in touch. Your right. Why should I? It's all about the "me complex" anyway. I don't have the same resources to travel, etc. Sorry. I make excuses that we don't have time. Truth is, we don't have resources. It's called money. I budget for a year (at least) for everything. Seems that those who think they are being pushed away are doing their own pushing. And now, I am missing that close relationship that I wish I had when I am sad/angry/alone/tired/and just plain done. I don't feel bad sharing the happy with a total stranger. Yes, I am sad about the choices others make. Yes, I am sorry that I don't make the time myself. It hurts if you choose to make those statements instead of pick up the phone. So, think about it. Do you really care? Or is the real reason much more shallow than that?

God gave me my own trials. I CHOOSE to spend my "spare" time being busy enough, so I don't have any time to Wallow in my Sorrows and Self-Pity. God gave me the strength and talent to HELP others. God did not choose to give me time to worry about someone else's sorry's. Sorry's are just Sorrows in disguise. 

The question is.......
Would you be strong enough to handle your neighbor's/sister's/brother's/father's/mother's/friend's trials? What about the trials written of Jesus Christ? For most of us (even me) the answer is no. And that means your not strong enough to handle mine.

A very good friend said to someone else "Michelle just needs a cause, and she'll wear you out finding the solution." I wrote this down. I don't remember what I was getting "praised" for, but I wrote it down because it reminds me that other people care that I care. I know there is always a way. It may not always be your way, or my way, but there is Always a Way.

..... God - I'm tired of looking for the solution to my own trials. Can someone else find one for me.........

Family Updates: Feel free to print it out and pass it on.

I hate to hover over the fact that I don't think I have anything to write..... It is just plain old regular everyday life. Then again, I have to remember that my plain old regular life isn't anyone else's plain old regular life. And maybe it would be interesting to someone who might care. So, I decided to write a little about the past couple of weeks just like I used to write those family letters. Feel free to print it out and pass it on.

The kids are, as always, getting older and bigger. I came to a realization that they won't be around forever. No matter how much I think time will stay still...... 

Jordan has spent the last couple of weeks in and out of counselors, advisors, and etc.... Planning his next years (3 if it's up to him, for if the Mom has any say in it) of high school/college prep courses. 

I, being the Mom, am chauffeur.

He is planning on stuffing as many credits into his high school tenure as possible. In the course of planning, he has decided to drop band. I am a little sad about that, but when I heard of his plans and listened to his reasoning, I gave. {Yes, he had his dissertation all planned out before he talked to this Mom} He is applying for the scholarship funds to pay for summer term classes at our local junior college, and has his class load already planned out through the next five years. When I was "summoned" to our date to hear his "discussion" with me about what he planned, he said it would all work perfectly if only I "did not take a new job and MAKE him move"..... Scares me a little that my boy is growing up. Too old for my own good I guess. And yes, he knows EVERYTHING. 

Chauney is going forward with her plans in life to stay in sixth grade forever. We, as parents, have been told that none of her cloths stink, showers are only needed once in a while, and my favorite when she was assumed (a supposed rumor Janelle came home from school with) to be "going out" with a boy because she likes to talk to boys..... "If he said that I'll kick him to Kansas". (Made me feel MUCH better about the whole "boyfriend" subject.) Oh ya, kissing is "Disgustingly Groady"! 

Quite the athlete still, Chauney is known around school for winning contests in "Bull Pup" Assemblies (what we used to call Pep Rallies) and still renowned for beating the boys at their own games. Her recent injuries have become legendary - because even when she is hurt she still plays ball. She reminds me of her Uncle Landon in so many ways.... 

Janelle - Miss Priss - Queen of the Classroom - Cheerleader Extraordinare. Geno went to school today because Janelle was receiving a "Bull Pup" award for her reading and writing grades. This, was NOT COOL. Therefore, Geno stated that even though he was very proud of her accomplishments.... it was not a "good thing" that he had stopped by. 

Everything in Janelle's world needs to be her way - or - no way. This Mom, is waiting for this stage to pass...... if it ever will. 

Gracelynn is soon to be 8. She is also the Queen of the playground. How did I get two of these "popular" people?? I don't know how many people I told, so forgive me if this is a repeat for you. Gracelynn's last report card said she was a "wonderful student" and would "greatly benefit from learning if she would stop talking". It also stated that she "would not stop chatting no matter who she sat by". 

So, the end result and newest change is that her teacher, Ms. Ljokovic, called and said she was giving up, and that she was putting Grace and Rachael next to each other in class. When I asked her if she was sure, (Gracelynn and Rachael Fry have been Best Friends since Kindergarten) she stated that she was truly giving in, and that maybe if they sat next to each other they would at least stop chatting across the room! Perhaps next year the school will learn and Grace and Rachael Fry will be in separate classrooms? 

However, I have been told {by Gracelynn} that this would not matter, because they would just need to get those pushing talky things so they could talk in different places at school. 

All else is the same. I am down to volunteering only 4 of the 5 weeknights. Girl Scouts, Indian Education, and Writing are taking up most of my nights. The parenting group I was participating in facilitating ended this past Tuesday. (Relieved) I am replacing that with Cub Scouts. (Excited). Cookie season is ending too. This means it is time to start camping! Geno is not excited about any of my ventures. He wants me to stay home. I tried that. I was bored. 

Geno is still staying home and playing with the kids and the dogs and being a full time Dad. He is enjoying every minute of it. He works on the house as we come up with the cash... and he has picked up a couple of yard jobs, which is good for his psyche. 

All else is as normal as it can be with four kids and seven dogs and a family life schedule that every day compounds a little more. Let me know when the money tree is fruiting.....

a delicate thing

To prove it is spring... My Orchid is blooming!!

Since I am normally VERY Successful in sending all plants that grow indoors to the great flower gods shortly after I start caring for them, having an orchid actually bloom in my care is something I consider a miracle.